What kind of mom (or dad) are YOU?
I read a great story today about a little guy who had been adopted. To teach him about his adoption and to help him feel loved, his mother taught him that he had a “tummy mom” and a “heart mom”. I loooove this concept. Which one are you? Can you be both? Which one do you ACT like? I happen to be both…these kids came from my tummy, but they certainly have my heart. Admittedly, some days I ACT more like just old, “biological” mother instead of a loving, nurturing “heart mom”. I brought them here…I feed them and clothe them and give them a place to live. But is that enough? Would that ever BE enough? I don’t think so. And what about a “head mom”? I think we all know her. How many times do we parent from our heads…the things we’ve read, the things we’ve observed, the things we’ve been told, the things we THINK will make us a good parent? Do we stop and listen to our hearts? Do we stop THINKING and take the time to FEEL? Do we stop listening to the Supernanny or Dr. Spock or Grandma So-and-So (full of wisdom, in and of themselves, however) and take the time to listen to our children…to hear what they are telling us…”Can you read to me?” “Can you play with me?” “Can you hold me?” I think a “heart mom”… a real, true, day-to-day, honest-to-goodness “heart mom” will stop the thinking and stop the dishes and the laundry and the dinner and READ or PLAY or HUG her child. I think my kids were onto something when as little, little ones they first learned to say “hold you” instead of “hold me” as they tugged on my pant legs and held up their arms. I would hold them, but really they were holding ME…with their arms wrapped around my neck and their sticky fingers and matted hair and milky breath wrapped around my heart. And I would feel like my heart would almost burst in those sweet moments. And luckily…they still come for those hugs now, although nobody says “hold you” anymore. But I know that everytime they come to me for love they know they’ll get that hug or that kiss or that squeeze…’cause I AM a HEART MOM! ❤
Did you know that research is showing that babies GROW better and ACT better when they are on the receiving end of the right touch? Infant massage is a skin-to-skin connection that helps parents and babies better connect with each other…with or without saying a word!
INCREASE LANGUAGE PRODUCTION! Great for little ones just learning to talk or “late talkers” or kids diagnosed with any kind of delay. We call these “Communicative Temptations” and you can easily work them into your daily routines (meals, snacks, bathtime, play time, etc.) Try them out!
1. Eat something in front of your child that he/she likes, but don’t offer any. When your child indicates that he would like some model a way for him to make the request (sign, words).
2. Dish up bite size servings and wait for her to request “more…”. Give the model if needed.
3. Limit your child’s access to favorite things like foods or toys. Keep them out of reach so she has to make a request for these items.
4. Give food or drink with utensils missing such as spoons or straws and wait for a request.
5. Use tight containers to store things such as cookies, crackers or small toys. When your child indicates that he wants something, you can hand him the container, then he must request “help” to open it.
6. Give your child a choice of two things to eat or drink and require her to make a choice verbally or with a sign. Now GET TALKING!!!
DID YOU KNOW that according to the Thesaurus a synonym for “touch” is “communication”? Jill Vyse said, “Baby massage is about learning to communicate your love for your baby through touch”. Touching your baby in day to day interactions like changing a diaper or giving a bath does not stimulate the brain as much as INTENTIONAL soft touch. Loving touch improves emotional development, sensory awareness, production of growth and digestive hormones, reduces stress and promotes better sleep! Now how can you argue with that?! I’d say lots of ‘bigger kids’ wouldn’t mind a little soothing touch and loving talk from mommy or daddy too!
“Just as children are fascinated by the spoken word, children are fascinated by the written word. The conscientious parent introduces the youngster to books as soon as possible” ~Stan & Jan Berenstain
Baby Sign Language…Good or Bad?
Personally, I am all for it! Baby sign language is a great way to communicate with your baby before they can actually talk. Babies usually understand speech before they are able to perform the complicated task of speaking…coordinating lips, tongues and voices. However, they can perform motor activities (hand movements, gestures) much earlier than they are able to talk. “Baby” sign language typically refers to using simple gestures (i.e. “wave”) or using true or modified American Sign Language (ASL) (i.e. opening and closing fist for “milk”). Most babies are able to imitate signs as early as 8 or 9 months of age. Signing helps reduce the frustration that babies can feel when their needs and wants are not understood. If your 10 month old baby is crying you may have to go through a process of giving drink, food, checking a diaper, etc. to try to figure out what your baby is communicating. However, if your baby fusses and signs “milk”, you will know immediately what he/she wants. *Check out sites like www.aslpro.com or www.handspeak.com to see signs in action!*
Research done by Dr. Linda Acredolo and Dr. Susan Goodwyn, the original Baby Signs authors, suggests that babies who signed tended to be less aggressive, less frustrated, and more self-confident. By the age of 3, kids who signed were talking with the skills of a 4 year old…a whole year’s worth of language growth! Later in life, those same children had increased scores on intelligence tests than those who did not sign as babies. Signing with your baby also increases the parent/child bond and helps to establish better emotional health and more positive interactions.
So, where to start? There are many products available…books, dvd’s, etc., as well as a lot of information on the internet. Watch for a link HERE to order products through the original Baby Signs company…coming soon! With my own children and with clients, I always start with the sign for “more” and then move to “eat” and “drink” or “milk” and “all gone”, because let’s face it…eating is very important to every baby! From there, label items that are common in your baby’s environment…Daddy, Mommy, dog, cat, book, etc. and common routines “bath”, “sleep”, “play” etc. As your baby grows and becomes more proficient at signing you can introduce more words and begin to combine words such as “more cookie” or “Daddy all gone”. Most importantly, communicating with your baby should be an enjoyable experience for both of you. You can begin signing around 6 months, and baby will catch on when he/she is ready. When your baby first begins signing respond with praise and love, smiles and hugs, and see how fast baby is to do it again! I still have memories of my youngest signing “bath” as her little naked bottom went running down the hall toward the tub!
AND…early communication increases baby’s brain power! As well as any communication between you and your baby, complete with eye contact, soft touch, soothing words, and a nurturing attention, will connect the two of you in a parent/child bond like nothing you’ve ever known!
Happy signing! 🙂
Hello world!
Welcome to It’s You and Me Baby! I am so excited to begin this journey. This site is dedicated to teaching parents and caregivers of all kinds how to CONNECT with babies and children through CONTACT (i.e. infant massage) and COMMUNICATION (i.e. language skills). Keep watching for classes that will be formed soon and products to purchase HERE! I welcome your questions and your input. Thanks for joining us!!
Take Time 4 Kids! 